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 The Ten Commandments of Gears of War 3 

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PostSubject: The Ten Commandments of Gears of War 3   Tue Sep 06, 2011 10:24 pm

For game developers it's the design document that's their bible, as
it lays out a complete overview of how the game will work, but for lazy
folks like us, that just sounds like a whole lot of reading. Nope, when
we want to know what's what on a game, we turn to the tried and tested –
stone tablets, as they get straight to the point.

Join us as we publish the latest stone tablets to be discovered at IGN AU HQ, the Ten Commandments of Gears of War 3.

1) Thy Fiction Shall be Pulpy

Not pulpy in the sense of blood and guts, although there'll definitely
be no shortage of viscera as you plow your way through waves of Locust
and Lambent, making crimson trails out of their entrails. In this case
we're referring to the Tarantino-esque rearranging of the narrative,
bending chronology back on itself like a pretzel made out of time and
seeing events play out from different perspectives and out of sequence.
Mmm… Time pretzel.

In just the first Act you'll first take control of Marcus Fenix and his
team aboard the hulking naval vessel Sovereign, desperately fending off a
Lambent attack before being eventually bailed out by an explosive
payload dropped off an overpass bridge by none other than Cole Train.
Then immediately you rewind a couple of hours back to take control of
Cole and experience the events in Hanover that led him up to that point.

Presumably this style of storytelling will continue through to the
game's ending – let's just hope that Epic's Pulp Fiction-inspiration
stopped short of including any ball-gags or basement levels. We are going to assume that Marcus Fenix has a wallet with 'BAD MOTHERF@#KER' written on it, however.

2) Thy Arsenal Shall be Deadlier

It's no real shock that the latest game in a series about shooting
things would have a big bag of new boomsticks for the player to get
their hands on, but Cliffy B and the team at Epic seem to be intent on
capping off this trilogy with more blissful banging than in a prom
queen's backseat. We don't even know what that means, necessarily, but
what we do know is that we really dig the new guns in Gears of War 3.

There's the Digger Launcher that shoots explosive creatures into the
earth, which then ripple through the terrain like demented Bugs Bunnies
before blowing up at your opponent's feet – try and take cover from that,
camping fans. There's also a Sawn-Off Shotgun, Incendiary Grenades and
the One-Shot sniper rifle that pretty much does exactly what it says on
the label.

There's even a Retro Lancer, which has an old-fashioned knife bayonet
mounted to it. What's so cool about that? Let's just say that it takes a
major pair of crotch cogs to be a Gears soldier who takes a knife to a
chainsaw fight. Think you're up to it?

3) Thy Shall Include a Token Aussie

You bloody bottler! Those flaming galahs at Epic have included a digger
from Down Under to take on the bunyips of Sera! The Locusts had better
strap on a franger because they're about to get rooted! They'd better do
the Harold Holt otherwise things are going to get messier than a blast
from the bushman's hanky!

No need to reach for the Google Translate button, we're speaking in
Australian slang here (albeit not particularly well). So too will
Samantha Byrne, one of the new female Gears soldiers who speaks with a
thick Aussie accent for reasons unknown. Was there an Australian
settlement on planet Sera? Maybe they had good surfing spots and
affordable Thai restaurants before the whole Emergence Day thing went

Anyway, her accent stands out like a pair of dog's balls (there we go
again), but that's probably just because this writer is an Australian.
At least Epic has had the good sense to hire an actual Australian
actress: Claudia Black is probably best known to gamers for playing
Chloe Frazer in the Uncharted series, and her nasally Australian drawl
is infinitely more authentic than the downright awful Aussie accents
approximated in Dead Island.

4) Thy Shall Get Aboard the Cole Train

As Cole Train you'll fight your way through the Hanover streets in the
game's first Act to Cougars Stadium, previously home to Cole's old
Thrashball team but since overrun by a residence of Lambent nasties.
When you reach the locker room things take a turn for the wacky, as all
at once Cole is overwhelmed by a wave of nostalgia. Suddenly you see the
world through his eyes, his surroundings washed in sepia and time
reduced to permanent sportscast slow-mo as he shoulder barges through a
field full of Lambent, snatches up the Thrashball (it's actually a
bomb), goose-steps back to the other end of the field and spikes it down
at the foot of a hulking Lambent Stalk to blow the alien bastards into
the next life. All while a non-existent crowd chants his name.

This is just one five-minute stretch of the first Act, and normal
transmission resumes thereafter with the action returning to traditional
Gears cover-based shooting. But we have to wonder: is this sequence a
one-off delusion, or an insight into how Cole Train views the world at
all times? We like to think it's the latter, and we hope there are a few
more crazy trips into the mind of Cole throughout the remainder of the

5) Thy Campaign Co-op Shall be Four-Player

That's all that needs to be said, really. The Gears series has always
been more fun with a friend in tow, and this time you can bring three of
them. Four players at once turns the Gears of War 3 campaign into a
roving Horde mode of sorts, and naturally your tactical options are
broadened by the presence of a couple of extra human heads in your

Back at E3, Cliffy B hinted at the possibility of the inclusion of
weaponry crafted specifically for co-op means, such as a hulking Gatling
gun that one player would fire whilst a second player mashed the A
button to turn the crank on the attached ammo box like an organ grinder.
We're sure that we'd want to be stuck in the support role instead of
being the one pulling the trigger, but we definitely like the idea of
having weapons that make you work together.

6) Thy Mechs shall be Multi-Purpose

Oh sure, there's no shortage of games with mech suits in them these
days. The Lost Planet games. Tim Schaefer's Trenched. Fear 3. The Sims:
Mechs and Kittens Edition. But Gears of War 3's mech – the Silverback –
is more or less the Swiss Army knife of mech suits in the sense that
it's a multi-purpose tool, only it swaps the pair of tweezers for a pair
of machine guns (we're kidding, there's probably a pair of tweezers on
there somewhere).

Like the gorilla of the same name, the Silverback mechs are big, heavy
and will mess you up if you so much as ask to borrow a pair of tweezers.
While stomping around in the suit you can knock aside obstacles or
barge down steel gates, and if you're taking too much damage you can
swiftly slip out of the Silverback's harness and take cover behind its
collapsed armoured shell.

Whilst in this mobile cover mode, you can still take control of the
mech's rocket launchers to attack your enemies with. How cool is that?
Even when the Silverback is on the defensive it's still capable of being
offensive. It's kind of like the Bill O'Reilly of mech suits, now that
we think of it.

The Silverback. Not to be confused with the gorilla of the same name, or Robin Williams with his shirt off.

7) Thou Shall Fight Bigger, Better and More Badasses

Okay, so the "bigger, better and more badass" mission statement was the
creed Cliffy B applied to the second game, but it still serves to
describe the development aim of Gears of War 3.
There's certainly a host of new enemies to encounter, both in Locust
and Lambent form, including Savage Grenadiers, Siege Beasts and pesky
Lambent Polyps that have a habit of scattering out of air vents every
time you stop to scratch yourself.

Then of course there is the enormous Lambent Leviathan that attacks the
Sovereign at the start of the game, which you may have seen in the E3
demo. If something that big appears so early on, you can imagine that
the enemies only get bigger. Besides, in Gears 2 you were neck-deep in blood in the bowels of a giant Riftworm – you just know
Epic has spent the last three years trying to find a way to top that.
Our guess is you'll have to cut through the bowels of a Riftworm that's
just been swallowed by an even bigger Riftworm, with the kicker
being that the smaller Riftworm had stale Mexican food for lunch and is
full of tapeworms. We should also remind you that we don't actually
design games (thankfully).

Cool Thy T Shall be Ice Cold

Remember when Ice-T was cool? Back when he used to sing about killing
cops and committing home invasions, and before he joined the cast of Law
& Order: Special Victims Unit to investigate fictitious cop killers
and home invaders? Well in Gears of War 3 he's transforming from
Tepid-T back to Ice-T by not only voicing one of the characters –
Griffin – but also reforming his thrash metal band Body Count to
contribute a song to the game's soundtrack. It's a brand new song, too -
we initially thought perhaps he'd just re-record 'Cop Killer' as 'Cog Killer', but then we remembered that he's not Weird Al Yankovic.

Another sweet Gears of War-inspired metal song? 'Gears of War' by Megadeth.

9) Thy Maker Shall Punish the Spoilers

Last month Epic stated
that it would seek to ban users from playing Gears of War 3 online if
they were guilty of publishing video spoilers for the game online prior
to the game's release.

Provided the developer does its due diligence in establishing the guilt
in each user, we can only applaud this stance. It would be like meeting
one of those guys who wears one of those t-shirts with all the movie
plot twists printed on the front, and taking bloody revenge for ruining
films for everyone else. Spoiler alert, jackass – I'm about to spoil
your smug know-it-all face.

10) Thou Shalt Never Get Bored of the Horde

As if Horde mode wasn't already addictive enough, Gears of War 3's Horde
2.0 mode introduces a suite of new features in order to freshen up the
action like a breath mint made out of gunpowder (incidentally, if that
was a real thing it would be called a 'Punishmentos'). The main
additions are the fortifications, which you can buy with the cash earned
from killing each wave of enemies. In between each wave you can setup
your fortifications, whether defensive installations like fencing off
corridors to slow your enemies down and cause chokepoints in the map, or
offensive equipment like turrets, sentries and even the aforementioned
Silverback mech suit. All of which add a new layer of strategy to what
was previously a more simplistic survival mode.

Of course you won't have it all your own way with these new
enhancements, and indeed after every ten waves of enemies you'll face a
boss – the most brutal examples of the Locust or Lambent races that will
require nothing short of well orchestrated team work to bring down.

Admittedly the name 'Horde 2.0' makes it sound like some kind of
operating system, but thankfully the only operating involved here will
be the open-faced field surgery you perform on a Locust's ugly face as
you introduce them to your Retro Lancer. Bring on September 20th!

So there you have it, The Ten Commandments of Gears of War 3. Think
we've missed anything important? Have something to say? Let us know in
the comments below...

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